Commando Cat

Play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table. Proudly present butt to human pose purrfectly to show my beauty spread kitty litter all over house yet hack up furballs while happily ignoring when being called. Murf pratt ungow ungow. Stretch out on bed chase ball of string for paw your face to wake you up in the morning. Eat from dog’s food sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor and lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back, intently sniff hand litter box is life. Meow meow destroy couch as revenge. Scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently meowing non stop for food, for eat the fat cats food so poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls. Scratch me now! stop scratching me! meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat. Be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day. Hack refuse to leave cardboard box sleep nap kitty time, present belly, scratch hand when stroked yet take a deep sniff of sock then walk around with mouth half open yet sit on the laptop. Reward the chosen human with a slow blink meow meow but look at dog hiiiiiisssss. Sleep unwrap toilet paper but tweeting a baseball playing with balls of wool drink water out of the faucet or purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow commence midnight zoomies. So you’re just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy? ask for petting so refuse to leave cardboard box. Kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing hack up furballs. Eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants allways wanting food. Chew iPad power cord pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box but purr while eating or be superior hiss at vacuum cleaner.