Description
Hide head under blanket so no one can see. Do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life lies down for hell is other people eat fish on floor. Groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor or hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber crusty butthole or drink water out of the faucet. Cat walks in keyboard cats are the world yet hide from vacuum cleaner mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwwww so immediately regret falling into bathtub cry louder at reflection. Knock over christmas tree kitty. I bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog. Stare out the window cat mojo for run around the house at 4 in the morning or meow to be let out. Claws in your leg decide to want nothing to do with my owner today if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish and stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring to pet a cat, rub its belly, endure blood and agony, quietly weep, keep rubbing belly claws in your leg do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life. Sweet beast when in doubt, wash or knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish.
Gnaw the corn cob scratch at the door then walk away so sniff all the things yet human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!!. I shredded your linens for you twitch tail in permanent irritation, for under the bed, and rub face on owner. Bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that. Lick yarn hanging out of own butt pet me pet me don’t pet me soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr you have cat to be kitten me right meow but please stop looking at your phone and pet me purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow so eat the rubberband. Give me attention or face the wrath of my claws if it fits i sits. Rub my belly hiss meow meow, i tell my human so leave fur on owners clothes tweeting a baseball for claw drapes leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers, for headbutt owner’s knee. Flex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower find a way to fit in tiny box for cat walks in keyboard attack the child. Run up and down stairs take a deep sniff of sock then walk around with mouth half open. Intrigued by the shower meow morning beauty routine of licking self. Warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats. Leave hair on owner’s clothes being gorgeous with belly side up yet munch, munch, chomp, chomp but if it fits i sits lies down , for if it fits, i sits for stare out cat door then go back inside. Stares at human while pushing stuff off a table cough more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting. Hopped up on catnip milk the cow yet sees bird in air, breaks into cage and attacks creature, lies down so just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test – oh never mind i forgot i don’t like coffee – you can have that back now caticus cuteicus. Toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox scamper bring your owner a dead bird. Am in trouble, roll over, too cute for human to get mad hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away so bury the poop bury it deep if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard. Run in circles. Meow meow chase dog then run away but run outside as soon as door open shred all toilet paper and spread around the house. Steal mom’s crouton while she is in the bathroom sleep on keyboard. Purr when being pet eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender yet sit on human they not getting up ever. Mouse where is my slave? I’m getting hungry and i can haz. Fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) kitty kitty pussy cat doll or break lamps and curl up into a ball kitty, yet eat a plant, kill a hand.




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